To say I love you
by Honesty1
Summary: Based on the rent boy in Wilde... What would happen if a well to do clients daughter fell in love with her fathers rent boy...


The house around us was quiet as I poured my soul out to this pretty girl with long wavy black hair. As I spoke she wrote almost every single word down, but the only reason she called me here was to get my story. She wanted to be a writer so bad. She filled my head with foolishness day after day and it was to the point that I almost believed, about her book about the life of a rent boy getting published. She doesn't know my name and I don't think she cares to know it either.

"You look uneasy" She said softly as she put her fountain pen down.

"I am at ease... go back to writing" I said as I watched her smile.

"Are you hungry.... I could have Bella make you something... tea perhaps or a muffin?" she had the sweetest voice and the best of intensions but much like the rest of the world she was just using me but instead of only to obtain pleasure she was using me to write a book. I with held several events from her like all of the times when her father requested my services but I told her most of the terrifying things.. like that of the cigarette burns and welts that I bare on my body beneath these clothes.

"No... May I leave?" I asked as I watch he continue to write more. and as she did every day she waved me out of her room with out looking up.

by the time I got back to the home I was greeted with many a snide comment and crude joke by the others. She was on my mind the whole time as I sat in my room naked in my bed with my first client of the night. I only knew the girls last name... Smith. Her father was a wealthy Physician who had several odd fetishes. The client I was with at the moment was being rather rough with me... pulling me this way and that... and then came the pain as normal so I buried my face in the pillow and my mind in thought to escape the pain. So I thought of her, It was odd the reactions that I got from just thinking about her as for instance the thought of her sent made me start with a cold chill of pleasure, as well as the thought of how the pale blue of her gown had brought out her deep gray eyes. I shouldn't be thinking of her... her heart was already sold by her father to one of his associates sons. So I turned my attention elsewhere the only thing that caught my eye was the paint on the wall it was old, water stained and peeling in places. Over my own thoughts I could hear the client say how beautiful I was and how soft my skin. And that he loved me. He really didn't I knew that as well as most in my profession did... the clients throw that word Love around like it means nothing. When in truth I am a rent boy none love me and I love no one.

In the morning as usual the girls man servant came to pick me up in their carriage. When we walked into the house I went straight up stairs to her room as always and reached for the door handle the servant stopped me.

"No not now... Jonathan Moore is in there... you must wait in the masters room" the servant said opening the farthest door down the hall I slowly walked over once I was in the room the door was shut. But I could still hear an argument going on. I could hear the girl screeching and shouting. I pressed my ear to the door to hear better but I could make out nothing. Everything was silent all of a sudden and I heard footsteps in the hall. After a while there was another set of foot steps these were fainter than the first. The door was the unlocked and opened by the girl she was crying.

"What is wrong?" I asked as I looked down at her she was how women are expected to be short, frail and beautiful. Her mother was from Spain and it was rumored that she was part Moor and so her daughter the lovely creature standing before me with gray eyes gleaming and rich dark hair swept back in curls bore the mark of her mother a light golden olive color. It highlighter her pale gray gaze and pink lips. today she was wearing a saffron brocade gown and she had mating ribbons through out her hair. She looked marvelous.

"I am to go to a part at noon... so I am afraid out session shall be shorter than normal" She said as she lead me back to her room. With the warm red and gold wall paper and tiffany windows.

"Sophia?!" A voice called from down stairs it was her fathers her eyes widened with fear.

"Hide in here" she said as she opened the closet door. I stepped in and she latched it. there was hardly room to stand among the many many gowns. I heard foot steps enter the room.

"Sophia... you look like your mother when you wear yellow.... I haven't come to talk just pleasantries though... I have come to hear my daughter bid me farewell before I leave for California" Her father said in his deep commanding voice.

"Farewell father" She said softly.

"I also paid for you to have a new dress made... she is stopping by later today ... oh and your are to go to Hiram Suttor's party escorted by Jonathan ... am I clear?"

"Clear Father" She said quietly

"good now ... I have to go I shall see you in three months" He said as he left the room. She closed the door behind him and threw a crystal dog on the floor. She then walked over to the closet and let me out.

"I am truly sorry... I shall make it up to you..." She said smiling as she took out the paper that she was writing her book on. I contemplated saying something smart but I couldn't think of anything and she was a lady... so of course I'd find my self in the nearest jail cell if I did.

"to tell the truth my dearest Rentboy...I do not wish to write today... Don't fret you shall get your pay but I do not feel like putting pen to parchment" She said as she turned around and looked at me. Her name fit her I wished I had been given a voice to sing to say that name sing it over and over again.

"What made you want to write about Rentboy's?" I said as I looked at her she just smiled.

"Can you... of course you can... well to a girl of society such as my self it's rather intriguing especially since I have not been here long... to be warned 'do not talk to that boy other there he's a Rentboy' it gets you thinking about things ... like what are the hardships that this person has faced and do they have dreams? And how do they feel after laying with that first client?... I cannot imagine such a thing... for having never lain with a man before... but my curiosity drew me... so the day I first saw you walking the streets ... you looked well to do enough ... so I thought you handsome and I went on a quest for your name and now I have known you for a whole three months and I still do not know you by any other name than Rentboy..."

"and you should not" I said watching her she looked at her hands.

"What if I were to pay you as a client to lay with me" She said as her eyes met mine. I didn't know how to explain to her that it was wrong to do such a thing especially since if someone found out I would be hung and my body left to rot.

"It is not romance.... if that's what you're looking for Sophia... and I do not derive pleasure from it either... it is a job to me nothing more"

"Oh... have you ever lain with one you love?" she asked as she took out her papers again. I had hurt her in some way and I could feel it in my heart but I was not about to lay with her to make it better.

"No..." I said as I watched her write.

"Has any of your clients fallen in love with you?" She said looking up at me

"They often say they do but they don't"

"Why/// you have a heart beating in your chest don't you?"

"Yes... but I am a rent boy Sophia... people burn , whip me, and beat me for their own pleasure... I get nothing from it but a fat pocket and a patch work of scars"

"But what of love all you do is stand about and smoke with your friends during the day... surely you have loved one... a regular client perhaps... a beautiful prince with golden hair and skin like a lily petal" she said as she cocked her head to the side and put the pen down.

"not ... but I have enjoyed being with sever customers such as you describe" I said watching her reaction she seemed fascinated.

"I would very much like to see this place this... hotel where you reside...to describe it for my book" She said with a charming grin. she had to be mad, she was a woman who wanted to publish a book and now she wanted to go to the hotel she had completely lost her mind.

"No isn't my description good enough?" I said snarling at her she looked positively outraged. She stood up and threw another crystal figurine it narrowly missed my head. It shattered into a thousand pieces on the floor.

"I am not a child! I do not need to be coddled and Shrouded from reality" She said narrowing her eyes. Their gray color was so cold and foreboding.

"Sophia... I do not wish to coddle you but you are a lady of higher society" I said softly as I watched her take several steps forward.

"higher society.... I loath those words do you know all being in high society has gotten me all my life? nothing but pain and hurt... and this stupid stupid meaningless engagement ring" she took a ring off of her finder threw it on the floor and proceeded to stomp on it.

"Are you engaged to Jonathan Moore?" I asked smiling he was one of my clients with an obsession for pain. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. She nodded and sat down on the bed inches from me. Just the there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Sophia said as she looked at the door,

"It's Manfred.... The cab is here to take you to the party Sophia" a voice said from the other side of the door.

"I am not going... since my father is gone I am your new master... mistress and I say I am not to go to that party" She said as I watched her rip the pins from her hair and watched the thing silken waves fall to her waist.

"very well then:" he said as foot steps could be heard in the hall.

" I think I should be leaving too" I said as I grabbed my gray bowler from her dresser.

"No... You are to stay... we shall go down to the gardens and take a walk" 

"I will be seen with you... your father will find out"

"Let him" she said as she picked up a wicker hat with yellow ribbons and pinned it to her hair which she braided into two thick braids.

"but it could mean death of hard labor for me" I said as I watched her run over to me and hold me close.

"for what you do with your clients will get you the same ... now come" she said as she pulled me by my hand to where Manfred her butler sat reading the paper.

"Manfred... I wish for you to take us to the garden" She said holding her head high and proud like some beautiful goddess.

"very well then Miss Sophia" Manfred said folding his paper and leading us to the carriage.

"I hate wearing a beautiful gowns without going out" she said smiling as she tossed a dark braid over her shoulder.

"do you often drop invitations to parties on such a whim?" I said as I watched her play with the silken ends of her hair. Her eyes met mine and she laughed.

"No... and if every one did not know of you as a Rentboy I would have liked to invited you as well... of course you would have to wear on of my fathers suits but we would have made a fine scene" She said as she held my gaze.

While we walked through the garden that seemed like more of a wood with several small paths through it than a garden. She told me stories of a Black Knight and a fair Princess who tried to all with in her power to woo the Knight.

"But the Black Knight would not allow the affection of the Princess so he kept his heat away from her... never letting her know even his name while he toiled in court with the King. they did things together unspeakable things this King and the Knight, things which a lady should never know of... but the princess did and still she loved this tall Black knight. And she would and in the shadows by the drawbridge of the Black Knights castle and watch her father go knowing what they did inside but keeping her piece till one day she got the Knight alone . She then cornered him and ran her hands over his magnificent shoulders and said in a voice as clear as morning 'I know what you have done my protector.. I know what you have done with my father and the other lords... if you can lay with them... in sin why can you not lay with me?'... and the Knight he did not speak yet instead he let a wry smile pass across his lips which did not move this mad the princess furious and she left him alone in a dark tower she locked him there for forty days without touch or sound and then on the fortieth day he screamed ' Dearest Princess Sophia I love you and always have' and then a faint whisper could be heard in the halls no not a whisper but the sound of satin slippers on stone stops... it was the Princess and she let the Knight out and they embraced The knight without his Armor and the Princess without a gown" she said as she rested her hand on my forearm.

"that was a beautifully sinful tale" I said as we walked through the tress and shrubs.

"it has gotten me thinking my dearest Rentboy ... my flawless beautiful Rentboy" she caressed my face tenderly with her free gloved hand we had stopped walking it felt strand to feel such a frail hand slide so smoothly across my flesh. it was an utterly delicious feeling.

"I am to change the topic of my book... I shall still require your assistance of course... but this shall now be about what would happen if a wealthy Physicians daughter fell in love... with her fathers Rentboy" She said as she turned around and looked at me I felt my heart pound. She loved me... she knew about the things I had done with her father and yet she still loved me. Yet this frightened me so, My beautiful Sophia would fall to ruin if anyone found out.

"How am I to assist you in that?" I said watching her eyes well with tear She was probably expecting me to sweep her off her feet and kiss her in front of every body.

"Well... surely you have thought about it? Falling in love with a governess perhaps of one of higher social standing?"

"yes... but"

"Then your feelings shall be my prologue... I shall turn them into a beautiful sonnet of love... and I shall go to the country to finish my book... you shall come with me... of course... and I shall pay you how much shall it cost for me to keep you for two months?" she said as we started back to the carriage.

"I would go for a small price"

"One hundred pounds?" she said as she walked along beside me it was early fall and she looked completely beautiful among the trees and it had nothing to do with the fact that she had just offered me a years wages for two months.

"hat of course shall get you a suit as well, for you cannot go to balls in that" she said pulling at my coat she the quickly yanked her hand back as though she touched fire.

"balls? you speak as though you are to have me become one of high society" 

"In the country none if any know what a Rentboy is let alone what one looks like... and with them money is fickle as long as you look like you have some you join their club..." she said as she climbed into the carriage with my help. I smiled at her she leaned in and gently kissed my lips.

It seemed minutes later that it was dark again and I was on my knees the lips that caressed Sophia's so tenderly were now caressing the cock of a surgeon. He paid well and had no off fetishes except that he liked to smoke his pipe while I sucked him.

In the morning I awoke sore as normal and walked to the shower. I changed into my usual attire and walked down he hall to William VonBrettons room he owned the hotel as well as he owned me. I opened the door to find him laying in bed with two of the other boys.

"I wish to leave for two months a client wished to take me to the country" I said as I watched his reaction he was dazed on the opium he so loved to smoke.

"are you getting paid well?" he asked as he watched me

"yes..."

"then go... but I get half" he said as he waved me out. I then left hastily with a small bag in hand carrying a suit which the mortician had sold me for five pounds.

As usual the carriage was waiting outside. Manfred held the door open. I got in expecting to be alone but instead I found Sophia in a gown of soft light blue satin he had was piled high on her head and atop the millions of looping curls was a hat with light blue feathers with small aquamarines adorning it.

"you look beautiful this morning" I said watching her slowly play with a stone on her dress.

"Is your name Edward?" She said smiling. She had guessed correctly/

"yes Why"

"you are very gentlemen like... most Edwards are as well... just a lucky guess... we are leaving now... I hope you know and I cannot write in a carriage so you and I will have to have a real conversation with you" She said as she sat down next t me.

"What about yesterday in the garden?"

"Why don't you love me?" She said as she leaned her cheek against my arm.

"how old are you Sophia?" I asked looking at her as she nuzzled my arm.

"Nearly eighteen... two days till in fact"

"you don't know what love is"

"No you don't know what love is... I am a selfish child Edward... a very selfish child... and you are but a little older than I so how could you possibly know what love is either... feel how my heart beats for you... my Black Knight... feel how I tremble" She said as she grabbed my hand and placed it on her chest I fel her pulse beating fast underneath my hand and her skin did tremble. She looked up at me with tear filled eyes.

"Did you feel nothing in the kiss? Nothing when our lips touched?" Her voice was wavering

"I felt everything" I said softly as I watched a tear fall form her cheek.

"Then why act so cold? why shun me and make me feel so bad" She said as she pouted I wrapped my arms around her.

"cause... you and me... us... this cannot happen... Rentboys and ladies do not mix in society" I said watching her reaction she started to cry.


End file.
